Whenever something bad happens to someone around me, something bad that could’ve happened to me just the same, all I wonder is why him and not me? I am thankful for God’s undeserved goodness to me, but I still don’t understand how it works. I still don’t understand why He has to be so good to me when I have done nothing good to deserve it. Why are there people suffering if they didn’t do anything to deserve it?
To deserve it… As I’m writing this, I start to think about how absurd my reasoning must be in God’s eyes. In the light of Scripture, it is absurd. In the end, we all deserve wrong and pain and death–this is what we deserve for our sins. Nonetheless, he chooses to bless those He so desires. Still, I wonder, why does He choose to bless me and not others?
And I realize I have a problem.
I’m still not understanding what grace is and how His grace works. I feel like I need to do certain things or act certain ways to deserve the goodness He has already given. And since I have not done any of these good things, I just can’t comprehend why He would give them anyways. And you see? That’s exactly what grace is! Grace is giving undeserving people goodness they don’t deserve!
I struggle with grace because I have a hard time accepting things from people. When I do, I feel like I am taking advantage of them; that I can’t get by by myself. It takes humility to accept that you’re not good enough and you’re still being blessed. It takes humility to accept that, at times, you need help from someone else. But it also takes humility to accept that there are people that are more than willing to help me joyfully, just as I am willing to do this for them.
God has given all his goodness out of the bountiful, abundant love of his heart towards us. He doesn’t demand or expect anything more than a humble heart that loves Him and believes in Him. If I have already surrendered my life to Him, I need to humbly accept and enjoy these things He has given.
Grace is a gift. And gifts are not given expecting something in return, but thank you.
“But if it is by grace, it is no longer on the basis of works, otherwise grace is no longer grace.” -Romans 11:6
Do you struggle accepting grace?